Human minds are funny. Once it gets hold of something it can hold on to, it’s almost impossible to erase it, or change. “An idea is the most resilient parasire” as told by Dominick Cobb, Inception.
Catching up with Ostraflex. I was excited about it, and I miscalculated my flight plan, and now in retrospect I can’t help but focus on why I did the things wrong the way I did. I chose to give it shot, knowing what I was doing has the potential to go wrong badly, but in retrospect I can’t help but regret. I lost my composure because I really was looking forward to get off this planet. Desperation brings out the worst in planet hoppers, or people in general. Clearly, Radakee didn’t want to fly into deep space with such a hothead pilot. Oh, what I would pay to have another shot at the same flight plan with Ostraflex.
Funny enough, after Ostraflex flew away, I didn’t have much trouble dealing with danger, e.g. in the water cave. It’s funny how many the possible ways I could have remedied the flight situation; Looking retrospectively. I always thought I could be like a mentat, the incredibly rational beings in Frank Herbert’s Dune, turns out I can’t. Still a human, quite a human, plagued with self doubts of insecurities.
And life; Well, life is pile of regrets, until you decide to press the “Fuck It” button all over again.